Musings and Determinations

Okay, okay... so I missed my first deadline. I told you, I'm a publisher's nightmare. What did I do with all the time that I spent dodging the challenge I set for myself? I did have a pretty busy schedule, but mostly I spent it working on my family tree project. You'd be surprised how easy it is to get completely drawn into that, getting irritated at anything that pulls your focus away from finding out where that next little green leaf that indicates a records match to the people on the tree will take you. It's completely addicting.

But, I'm here now, determined to get a little blogging work done.

So, I'll start with a musing: Why is it that my husband cannot seem to put his dishes in the dishwasher when he's done with them? Why do I always find them sitting in or around the sink? When I ask him, his reply is always, "I didn't know if the dishwasher was clean or dirty".

Now, come on, am I seriously to believe that this highly intelligent man with a wonderfully analytical mind cannot open the dishwasher, observe the contents, and reach a conclusion based on how many dishes are in there, whether or not there are drippings from dirty cups or bowls on the bottom, or simply noticing that the smell of the detergent is not present? Seriously?



Moving on... Jimmy has been getting himself in a lot of trouble with me lately. I hate when we go through patches like this. He's been getting really mouthy, arguing every little thing, farting around and not doing things he's asked to do until I start yelling, and then playing victim to the big bad mommy. After a few days, I get so sensitive to the constant disrespect that little things immediately set me off. And I feel like I'm always yelling. I hate the way that feels, and I'm sure Jimmy does, too. I wish there was a button I could push and just have him obey the first time.

So, I have to invent the button. I have taken away the thing that he loves the most, his Nintendo DS. He got so upset when I told him it was gone for a day (and, I mean, he moved immediately into an absolute meltdown) that he worked himself up to 3 days without it. When I realized he was going to keep hollering, I took the Wii away, too. Ooooooo... That got him to quiet down, but the sniffling continued the whole way home (we were driving home from Scouts), and he stomped and pouted all the way through the bedtime routine.

But, I was proud of myself because I really stuck to my guns. Normally I will parole him from being grounded if he behaves himself, but I made it clear to him that this would not be the case this go around. And when, before baseball practice on Saturday, he had another episode, I took them away for 3 more days. I think I really got his attention.

It's so hard, as a parent, to know that your child is mad at you. You start to question yourself and wonder if you should have handled things differently. This is what always has led to the parolings in the past. But, I now realize the consequences of that. He has come to not respect the punishment, because he knows he can schmooze his way out of it.

I need to resolve that, instead of yelling, which really does nothing at this point, I need to go right for the jugular- taking away that DS. And every protestation to the punishment brings another day of separation. And I need to keep my cool while doing it. I don't think it will take that many occurrences to get him to understand that mom's not playing around any more.

It won't be easy, but there's too much at stake. I don't want this to progress to worse experiences when he becomes a teenager. I want him to learn self-control and that there are consequences for every choice you make in life. I've been cheating him of that lesson, and not doing him any favors in the process.

I guess that will have to be it for today. Exercise and unfinished laundry are calling to me. I wish they'd shut up.